4x4
04-17-2003, 05:41 AM
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of
the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not
getting any.
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART II
What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They
named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other? A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast? They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A
southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get
another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A
southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
MY . . . MY HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED Years ago...When 100 white men
chased one black man, we called it the Ku Klux Klan; today they call it
the PGA TOUR.
Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on
the good rides
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of
the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not
getting any.
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART II
What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They
named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other? A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast? They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A
southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get
another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A
southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
MY . . . MY HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED Years ago...When 100 white men
chased one black man, we called it the Ku Klux Klan; today they call it
the PGA TOUR.
Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on
the good rides