Mili's Believe It Or Not

[Chief]

OK, ya'll, this looks pretty good...how about that, now we can tell inlaw horror stories, and cooking secrets - I tell ya, this place is rockin', now....:p
Let me start the show with a little ditty about my ex brother in law's family, that unfortunately, I still have too-frequent contact with. Here's a guy, married (3rd wife)....he's an X-con, spent 7 years in the pen for killing a highway patrolman with his bare hands. Caught him in the sack with wife number 1. My sister in law was #2...she got out while the gettin' was good.
Now...he has two sons, both married. All four are living in the same house, along with the parents. Now get this picture...the Dad is screwing both daughter in laws, his wife, and a half a dozen mistresses.
One son is screwing the other son's wife, the other son is screwing the first one's wife. They both have two kids, one each from each daughter in law. The two daughter in laws have been caught sleeping together, doing their lickety-split thing. The mother is screwing the local FedEX center manager. The brother in law just got nabbed by the Alabama police, for stealing tools from a construction site, and is locked up in the crossbar hotel in Birmingham. He's threatened to kill the whole bunch when he gets out.
Mom is a gambling addict, and will stop at nothing to feed her habit. Anything with two or four legs is fair game, as long as they can keep her pulling those one-arm bandits out in Vegas...
And you think your family is demented?? This is not a joke, this is not a test...repeat, this is not a test...:eek:
OK, folks, your turn...:D

[mili]

Chief did Mommy make any moves on you yet?

mili

[kimmichael44]

Cheif,

I thought we agreed to keep our family shit outta this?

Hey, when I you coming over to pick up those tools and your wife?

:D

[Chief]

Not yet, Mili, but only because I haven't bankrolled her gambling junkets....but I hear from 'em occasionally...usually when they want to cheat me on some car I have.
Mom is a looker, a real +10, but Lord have mercy....a man could buy 50 hookers for what he'd spend on this one...and not have to worry about a crazy husband in the process. As they say, you can wrap a hand grenade in a pretty box....:eek:
Kimmichael, may you be blessed with blacklisted bins and looped 4B's:D

[Chief]

and true to the last word, OP...hope this post didn't come off as another chauvanistic woman-bashing - didn't mean it in any way...but this one's an exception. All together now, can you say "Barracuda"?:D
Besides, the men in the family are sorrier than owl shit...and I forgot to mention, they have a small business, and each year, they turn in tax returns on about 30 phony employees. Claim earned income credit, all kinds of deductions on them...they and their two daughters-in-law somehow pull it all off..and they screw the IRS out of about 50 grand a year. Not that the IRS is any kind of a friend...but it sure galls my ass to know that indirectly, we're all financing this band of gypsies...
I went to our local IRS office a few months back and turned the sonsabitches in. So far, nothing. Funny how that works. Let one of us be a few days late on a legit tax return, and they'll throw us UNDER the jail...:mad:

[mdeven]

I have to print it out and study it.... My ADHD kicked in about halfway through the post....
Damn D, I'll never call you fucked up again :p
Mark

[Rebel]

I bet they alll live in Arkansas, don't they? ;)

[Chief]

No, Reb, not yet...but two of 'em just moved to Little Rock, so they're learnin' fast:D

[OneHwyMan]

Have they been on Springer yet????? lmao


OHM:D :D

[Chief]

OHM, that's a GREAT idea:D and here's the latest on those rattlesnakes...my stepdaughter is familiar with these people, the Mom ( the one who's doing the FedEX dude) is the bookkeeper for the family business...well, my stepdaughter had Mom do her 2002 federal tax return. She had a $2100 refund coming. Mom does an e-file on the internet...with instructions to send the refund to my stepdaughter's address.... They did it together...but the old bitch didn't send it in until my stepdaughter had already gone home. Where did she have the refund sent? Why, deposited to her personal checking account, of course...then blamed the whole shiteree on the IRS. She took the money and went on a gambling junket to Biloxi, Mississippi...and fed every dime, plus a whole bunch more, to the one-arm bandits.
All the monkeys ain't in the zoo:(

[OneHwyMan]

Idea!!!
Some body should tell everybody who's sleeping(or not sleeping)with who/whomever and let them settle it amongst themselves. Make some popcorn,open a beer set up the lawn chair in the trailer park and watch the fireworks!!!

Poor Chief:(


OHM:D :D

[mili]

Fuck, Chief could make a nice sum by selling tickets. I would buy a front row seat behind bulletproof glass of course

mili

[bangnnails]

Hi ya chief,

YOU OLD COCKSMAN YOU!:D I say you take it straight to PPV on DAVE TV......Ive seen it on ther before....a couple of good ol boys rating the fights with a "six beer and a bong toke rating" for the good ones! haha I think this maybe a 2 toker and a twlevie!;)

[Chief]

Apparently the hubby thinks so too, bangnnails...a few months ago, this rocket scientist spent I don't know how much money hiring a PI to follow me around. Seems he was certain I was making it with his wife. Shit. I'd rather have hemhorroid surgery.
Dave TV? Dave wouldn't want 'em, except possibly on the Ultimate Fighting Championship channel. Springer, maybe. I'm not done telling tales about these people not by a long shot. You just can't believe these bastards...:eek:

[bangnnails]

been there done that! Id rather have sex with someone elses wife!haha..

but Im all in anticipation about the next episode of "as cheifies world turns"