Southern lady

[Just4FunNC]

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question
if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know
me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams,
I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you
know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and
his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with
three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I
know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both
counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet
voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she
knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for
contempt."