fubr
04-01-2006, 03:36 PM
New version of US History (just made public!)
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martínez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 4th grade.
The teacher said, -"Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, Give me Liberty, or give me Death? "
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.
-"Patrick Henry, 1775."- Pedro answered.
-"Very good!"- apprised the teacher. -"Now, who said, Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response, except from Pedro: -"Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, -"Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper: -"Screw the Mexicans!"
-"Who said that?"- she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up, -"Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, -"I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, -"All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, -"George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, -"Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, -"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, -"You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, -"Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, -"Oh shit, we're in big trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, -"Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Finally someone throws a eraser at Pedro, someone shouted, -"Duck"!
Teacher asked, -"Who said that?
Pedro speaks out, -"Dick Cheney 2006."
**********************************
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martínez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 4th grade.
The teacher said, -"Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, Give me Liberty, or give me Death? "
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.
-"Patrick Henry, 1775."- Pedro answered.
-"Very good!"- apprised the teacher. -"Now, who said, Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response, except from Pedro: -"Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, -"Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper: -"Screw the Mexicans!"
-"Who said that?"- she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up, -"Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, -"I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, -"All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, -"George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, -"Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, -"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, -"You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, -"Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, -"Oh shit, we're in big trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, -"Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Finally someone throws a eraser at Pedro, someone shouted, -"Duck"!
Teacher asked, -"Who said that?
Pedro speaks out, -"Dick Cheney 2006."
**********************************