Kiss my ...

[Bandit5906]

An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day.
He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a
gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of
whiskey in the other. The gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed,
saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.
I just never wanted to."

A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, "Well, you old fool,
you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The
old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing.

When the gunslinger fired his last bullet, he holstered his gun and turned
around to go back into the saloon. The old man reached up on the mule, drew
his shotgun, and pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound.

The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet.

The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both
barrels of the shotgun.

The old man asked, "Did you ever kiss a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No. But I've always wanted to."

[Bandit5906]

Subject: Proper mourning period.


Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of
her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to

get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know
anyone. Her daughter immediately replies: "Mum! I have someone for you to
meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for

six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. Their
first night there, she undresses as he does.
There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties; he in his
birthday suit. Looking at her he asks: "Why the black panties?" She replies:

"My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am

still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night.
The following night the same scenario. She's standing there with the black
panties on, and he is in his birthday suit, except that he is wearing a
black condom. She looks at him and asks: "What's with the black condom?" He
replies: "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

[1one]

Back in the old horse and buggy days a man and woman marry. On their way out of town the old nag stumbles and falls. The man gets down from the buggy and takes the horse by the reins. He pulls it to its feet and looks the horse in the eye . He tells the horse, now thats once. About a mile or so out of town the old horse stumbles and falls again. The man climbs down from the buggy and pulls the horse to its feet again. Looks the old nag in the eye and says thats twice. The couple continue for a few more miles at which time the horse falls again. The man climbs down and gets his rifle. He shoots the horse dead. The new bride starts to rumble on about being five miles out of town and having to walk. She continues to nag, nag , nag. The man looks the bride in the eyes and says to her, thats once.

[Bandit5906]

Wife #1!

May she RIP!