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Bandit5906
08-23-2007, 01:57 AM
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. -

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,

awakened the kids,

set out their school clothes,

fed them breakfast,

packed their lunches,

drove them to school,

came home and

picked up the dry cleaning,

took it to the cleaners and

stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

went grocery shopping,

then drove home to put away the groceries,

paid the bills and

balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make

the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and

sweep and Mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and

got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and

got the kids organized to do their homework,

then set up the ironing board and

watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and

washing vegetables for salad,

breaded the pork chops and

snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen,

ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,

bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.



The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:

"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months though. You got pregnant last night." 8-)
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mtmt1us
08-23-2007, 02:12 AM
The poor bastard. Or b*tch now. I am so confused.

Bandit5906
08-23-2007, 02:27 AM
Love in a Mental Hospital

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Just because someone does not love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you are being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you sav ed him. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"