jodhpurman
03-29-2008, 02:52 AM
At least one will apply to someone you know
Gentle Thoughts for Today--
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the
neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag
himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the
right thing at the right time, but also to leave
unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat have gotten
to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for
forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't
met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have
someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so
he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take
time to look for it. For example I am sitting here
thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The"
and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about
it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth
waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me,
I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've
traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't
paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back
to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either
dries up, or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces Then you
forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget
to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Gentle Thoughts for Today--
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the
neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag
himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the
right thing at the right time, but also to leave
unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat have gotten
to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for
forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't
met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have
someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so
he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take
time to look for it. For example I am sitting here
thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The"
and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about
it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth
waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me,
I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've
traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't
paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back
to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either
dries up, or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces Then you
forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget
to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.