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Mia
09-02-2009, 12:08 AM
Hey

Hehehe now you know i love you guys? Hehehe :p

Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)


4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)


6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)


( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)


And the personal favourite:


8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibr ator can't mow the lawn)


Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'


-----------------------------------------------------------


'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the20shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

-----------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor


-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean w hen a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

Sorry guys i couldnt resist hehehe but i still love ya :)


Mia x
gizmolite
09-02-2009, 12:20 AM
Hey

Hehehe now you know i love you guys? Hehehe :p

Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)


4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)


6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)


( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)


And the personal favourite:


8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibr ator can't mow the lawn)


Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'


-----------------------------------------------------------


'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the20shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

-----------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor


-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean w hen a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

Sorry guys i couldnt resist hehehe but i still love ya :)


Mia x

hahahahahah... touche
Mia
09-02-2009, 12:27 AM
Hey

Hehehe thought you would appreciatate my reply :p

Bad Mia x
mtmt1us
09-02-2009, 04:42 AM
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)


LOL

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex ?
A. They can't stand to see a man have any fun.
Mia
09-02-2009, 09:57 AM
LOL

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex ?
A. They can't stand to see a man have any fun.


Hey

OR we are busy imagining Jason Statham or possibly Brandon Flowers ???

Hehehehe:p

Mia x
mtmt1us
09-02-2009, 05:18 PM
Hey

OR we are busy imagining Jason Statham or possibly Brandon Flowers ???

Hehehehe:p

Mia x

?? Statham ?? Really ?

LOL Hell, even I am better looking than he.
spanga
09-03-2009, 07:09 PM
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)i got around that one by not lifting it
Mia
09-03-2009, 07:15 PM
?? Statham ?? Really ?

LOL Hell, even I am better looking than he.

Hey

LOL Ya...The actor as in Death Race, Transporter Trilogys and the Crank movies..If you are better looking than him , then hell get your backside over to the UK ASAP LOL

Mia x

Spanga LOL That could warrent a frying pan to the back of the head where i come from :p
mtmt1us
09-05-2009, 05:50 PM
Hey

LOL Ya...The actor as in Death Race, Transporter Trilogys and the Crank movies..If you are better looking than him , then hell get your backside over to the UK ASAP LOL

Mia x

Spanga LOL That could warrent a frying pan to the back of the head where i come from :p

I'll be right over as soon as I get past the rock star phase ;).
Twostep
09-05-2009, 08:10 PM
http://www.dssftp.com/forum/showthread.php?t=82866

;)
rg6a
09-05-2009, 11:07 PM
Hey

Hehehe thought you would appreciatate my reply :p

Bad Mia x

Listen, my job is to mow the lawn, fix stuff around the house and take the garbage out (hey after two decades of marriage, this happens).

However were are worthwhile, can you open a jar of tomato sauce or whatever, No! If the breaker pops at the panel, can you figure out which one, No. Should the feline want a room painted, who does that?

When your car won't start, just who has jumper cables and a battery charger, not you. I could go On and On but won't as have made my point and perhaps any guys that still have Testosterone could add on.

Never attempt a verbal beat up on Guys, as we have more ammo with regards to the feline species. ;-)


PS without us, you won't exist...........as for me....I'd be living in a tree and eating berries
Mia
09-06-2009, 12:35 AM
Listen, my job is to mow the lawn, fix stuff around the house and take the garbage out (hey after two decades of marriage, this happens).

However were are worthwhile, can you open a jar of tomato sauce or whatever, No! If the breaker pops at the panel, can you figure out which one, No. Should the feline want a room painted, who does that?

When your car won't start, just who has jumper cables and a battery charger, not you. I could go On and On but won't as have made my point and perhaps any guys that still have Testosterone could add on.

Never attempt a verbal beat up on Guys, as we have more ammo with regards to the feline species. ;-)


PS without us, you won't exist...........as for me....I'd be living in a tree and eating berries


Hey

LOL

And there was me thinking this was the humour section?:rolleyes:

Mia x

Oh BTW my reply back above was to Giz!
mtmt1us
09-06-2009, 05:36 AM
"Was" being the operative word in this case.

Hey rg, take it easy on Mia she is fun. No need to take things personal.