[Chief]

Top 8 Morons of 2003

> 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
> AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
> saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million
> severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.

> 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
> Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
> gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten
tear
> gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside
them
> in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

> 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
> An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
> forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein,
> the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

> 4. THE GETAWAY!
> A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Stop, and asked for all the
> money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he
tied
> up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours
until
> police showed up and grabbed him.

> 5. DID I SAY THAT???
> Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
> couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each
man
> in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll
> shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

> 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
> A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
> contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?"
the
> doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

> 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
> In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to
> hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb
>and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep
his
> hand in his pocket (hellllllooooooo!)

> 8. THE GRAND FINALE
> Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour
> east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
having
> a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their
brand
> new 22 ft. boat going very well. It was very sluggish in almost every
> maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour
of
> trying to make it go, they pulled into a nearby marina, thinking
someone
> there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed
> everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out
> drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.
So,
> one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He
came
> up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS >IS
TRUE....Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the
trailer.

[cojones]

I got one for you i heard on the news yesterday. A man on vacation near me reported to police that his pot and an undisclosed amount of money was stolen from his motel room while he was out. He was not arrested because there was no evidence.The man was an investment banker. COOL! :asshole2:

[Chief]

Hell if I know, K...friend sent it...but the best one is in another thread that I posted, information I got from the Fox News Network. About the 16 year old who robbed a 7-11 with a .22 rifle...and tried to load it with .40 cal ammo during the course of the robbery....ohhhh, me...